


Could Not Would

by Badassium1970



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Egobang - Freeform, M/M, One-Sided Crush, Platonic Ninja Ship Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:30:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7309555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badassium1970/pseuds/Badassium1970
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Um, so Ar, can I… I was wondering…. Well you know how you said if a guy wanted to kiss you, you’d let them?” <br/>“Yep.” Arin wondered why Dan was asking him about something that literally just happened, especially since they were running out of room on the capture and couldn’t really afford to waste any time. <br/>“Um, well I mean, I’m a guy... and I want to…"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Could Not Would

Dan had forgotten how they’d segued into this conversation; sure he knew he initiated it but other than that he was unsure. It started with Dan asking who Arin’s first kiss was, and Arin responded with a hesitant answer of not knowing who it was. Dan knew this was a lie but he didn’t push any further, instead he kept the commentary flowing.

“I was seventeen,” Dan began but he was cut off by Arin’s soft voice. 

“I think it was a girl?” 

Dan examined Arin’s face. His friend looked confused, deep in thought but Dan didn’t see what the big deal was, Arin was straight, of course his first kiss would have been a female. 

“I... would assume it was.” To that comment Dan received a quick glare before Arin’s eyes were on the screen again. 

“Why would you assume that?” The younger man questioned as if Dan had suggested the weirdest, most unrealistic shit ever. His tone was somewhat defensive, but it was obvious that he trying to sound normal. 

“I don’t know, cause that’s what you’re into?” Dan quickly defended himself, although he felt slightly uncomfortable due to the way Arin was looking at him in a way that conveyed both offense and a little upset. 

“Meh,” was all he had to say though and Dan could feel the tension in the air and decided to make a joke to cut it. 

“I know you like dogs, you kiss your dog,” Dan joked, putting on an accent. It was stupid like most of his nervous comments were. The joke wasn’t even funny and went ignored anyway. 

“I could go both ways,” Arin shrugged, acting as if it wasn’t a big deal but Dan could see a blush forming on his face. Dan remembered Arin saying in a Fire Red episode that he kinda had a crush on a guy before so it made sense. 

“Fair enough.” 

“If a guy wants to kiss me, fuck it, I don’t give a shit.” 

For the rest of the episode Dan retold the story of his first kiss and the two shared jokes until the episode ended. The whole time Dan had one thing on his mind, something he’d always thought about but had never had the confidence to ask, but know with the new knowledge Arin had put out there it seemed like the perfect chance. 

“Um, so Ar, can I… I was wondering…. Well you know how you said if a guy wanted to kiss you, you’d let them?” 

“Yep.” Arin wondered why Dan was asking him about something that literally just happened, especially since they were running out of room on the capture and couldn’t really afford to waste any time. 

“Um, well I mean, I’m a guy... and I want to…” Dan trailed off, he felt awkward and his face was heating up, if he could sweat he would be sweating up a storm right now. 

“Dan, I, when I said that I meant, like before me and Suzy y’know? I’m sorry.” 

A rush of embarrassment flowed through Dan and he felt hot shame crawl down his neck. Of course Arin would have meant that. It was stupid for him to even consider that Arin would want to kiss him. All those jokes were in fact jokes and Dan should have known that to begin with but for some reason he had been trying to convince himself that there was some truth in them for a little over two years, after he got over the initial fear of having a crush on a guy for the first time, and only time. 

“Yeah, of course. I was… uh... I was being stupid.” 

Dan stood and went to leave. 

“Wait Dan, it’s.... it’s okay dude.” Behind Arin’s voice Dan could hear the plead for him to stay but Dan tried as hard as possible to ignore it. 

“Yeah it’s fine, I just need to go for a walk, get some fresh air… the air in here must be making me act all crazy.”

Dan did go for a walk, far enough away that anyone who looked out the window wouldn’t see him get in the car with Brian after phoning him and asking him to come pick him up. He felt bad bringing Brian into this, especially since today was his day off, but Barry had been his ride to the Grump space today and he needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Running was childish, Dan knew this, but right now he couldn’t handle Arin either wanting to talk about what just happened or tip toeing around it. 

Brian drove Dan to his home, going in with him. The car journey was pretty much silent so he knew Dan needed a friend right now or else he would bottle up whatever was wrong. He made Dan a mug of tea to help him calm down. 

“So, what happened?” Brian didn’t really like small talk and he preferred just getting to the point. 

Dan pulled at the loose threads on his jeans, avoiding eye contact with Brian as he relived what happened at the Grump Space not long ago.

Brian didn’t push him to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him, he just waited patiently until Dan was ready.

“Um, so Arin was talking about how his first kiss might not have been a guy, and then how if a guy wanted to kiss him… he’d let them.”

Brian felt a slight spike in anger, Dan did not just leave Arin because he got freaked out about this. 

“Bri, stop looking at me like that, that’s not the reason I left.” 

The older man hadn’t even noticed that he was glaring at his friend and gave him an embarrassed smile. 

“So um… I asked… I asked Arin to kiss me.” Dan’s voice broke into almost a whisper, as if he didn’t want anyone to hear what he’d done. He looked ashamed. Brian on the other hand was happy for him, but understood why he would feel ashamed since Arin was married.

“So what was it like?” 

Dan frowned. 

“I didn’t kiss him Bri, I wanted to but, when he said he would let another guy kiss him he meant if he hadn’t found Suzy. 

Dan lowed his head in shame and disappointment. 

“I feel so stupid.” 

Brian put his hand on Dan’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

“You’re not stupid, well okay you can be, but not for this reason. Arin made it sound like you had a chance, and I know he didn’t mean to, but that pretty much makes this his fault. However, you shouldn’t have left because that’s just going to make things more awkward the next time you see him and that’s why you’re an idiot.”

Dan groaned, lying his head on the table. 

“Why do you always sound like you’re giving a lecture when you’re right about something.”

Brian smirked as he started petting Dan’s hair, normally he would complain but it felt nice right now.

“I dunno, just a habit I guess. So do you want me to call Arin.”

Dan didn’t, he wanted time to be alone and feel sorry for himself, but he knew that was just going to make things worse, plus Arin would probably come over at some point so there was no point trying to hide from him. With permission given from a small nod, Brian left for a moment to call Arin, returning to let Dan know the younger man was on his way over. Brian stayed with him until he heard a car pull up outside, he made sure Dan was okay before opening the door, letting Arin in and then leaving, hugging Dan before he went and whispering that he was there if he needed him, all Dan needed to do was call. 

Dan nervously invited Arin into the living room, sitting a lot further away from him then he normally did which didn’t go unnoticed. Dan was the first to speak, much to Arin’s surprise. 

“Ar, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left, that was really childish and it’s not like it’s your fault that I took what you said the wrong way. I should have thought about it first.” 

Dan wasn’t looking at Arin; he couldn’t bring himself to. He heard Arin sigh, he sounded upset and stressed. It sucked knowing that, not only had he been rejected, but he had caused Arin to be subjected to this mess more than he should have been. He should have stayed at the Grump Space. 

“Dan, it’s not your fault, don’t apologise for how you feel. Plus, I should have made it clearer that I meant if I hadn’t met Suzy and fallen in love with her I would willingly kiss someone else the same way I kiss her now.”

Dan nodded, he felt some pain when Arin mentioned Suzy but he was used to seeing them together and knew that if fate or destiny exists then that was why the two were together now, they just seemed almost too perfect together. 

“I still shouldn’t have left.” Dan admitted, internally cringing at how much of a child he had been. 

“People deal with things in different ways, and it isn’t that bad. I mean we’re talking about this now and um... I don’t wanna speak for both of us but I think it’s going alright.” 

Dan finally looked at Arin. He was clearly concerned but that faded a little when Dan smiled at him.

“Yeah, I’d say it is.” 

A small silence formed, it wasn’t the most pleasant thing but it wasn’t uncomfortable either. They were both just thinking about what their next move should be. 

“Hey, so we’re gonna okay, right?” It was Arin who broke the silence this time, and he hoped they were. Dan was one of the most important people in his life and it would practically kill him to lose him. 

“Totally, I mean I’ll probably be a bit weird for a while but I’ll get over it.”

The two hugged, and Dan’s heart fluttered even though he tried not to let it. He tried not to inhale Arin’s scent, or admire how soft his skin felt. He couldn’t help it though, he was in love or to put it another way, he was fucked.


End file.
